Can Your Soulmate Be Just a Friend?

    Can Your Soulmate Be Just a Friend?

    The idea of soulmates is one of the most consistent notions of romance throughout nearly every culture (book, tall tale, or TV show). We hear about this all the time, but a lot of us don’t know exactly what they are and how we know if they show up in our lives. 

    Can they be just a friend: a yin to your yang? At Birthdate Co., we help people understand their core selves through the study and practice of astrology.

    If you’re here wanting to know more about meeting your own soulmate, we’ve got all the details to know if you already have or what you should look for in the future.


    Soulmate 101

    If you ask most people, they’d have the same definition of what a soulmate is. A lot of that comes from the movies, specifically romantic comedies. In these movies, actors are swept off their feet into romantic bliss. Someone was simply “made for them:" part of their destiny. 

    The idea is that there is a single person somewhere in the world who you fit with like two puzzle pieces. It’s a pretty adorable notion and one that gives people a lot of comfort. According to a Marist Poll, 73% of people asked believed in the idea of a soulmate. 

    So, while the exact definition of soulmate may differ from person to person and culture to culture, it’s telling that the vast majority live their lives hoping that they’ll meet “the one.”


    Can Your Soulmate Be Just A Friend?

    Although the idea of a soulmate is something that people think of as a romantic relationship or a married couple, you may be wondering your soulmate could be a friend.

    Most people would argue yes: friends can absolutely be soulmates. A true soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic; they’re just a person who fits into your life like they’ve always been there.

    It’s that deep connection that you can have with someone else, the one that lives in your comfort zone without having to force it. It can absolutely be a role that a friend takes in your life. And that’s not to say that friendship can’t transition into something else later, too.

    And, more than that, there are a few other types of soulmates that may be out there:

    • “Soul partners” - Soul partners are those people that you haven’t seen since you were kids, but you can just fall back in with like no time has passed. That best friend from elementary school, your college roommate… these people may all be your soul partners. 
    • “Karmic soulmates” - Karmic soulmates are the people who meet while achieving your goals, whether personal or professional. These people have the same beliefs, tastes, and sensibilities as you and want to achieve the same thing. However, they do it next to you instead of competing with you. 
    • “Kindred soulmates” - Kindred soulmates are like friends, but even more in sync (also called a twin flame). If there is someone in your life that you seem to agree with almost all of the time, even during times you’re not together, you may be walking next to each other on the same path. 


    Why the Concept of a Soulmate May Do Harm

    Although it’s romantic to think about a soulmate bond, in some cases, waiting for one can actually lead to you missing a lot of other opportunities that may pop up in your life.

    Whether or not you believe in free will, much of our lives comes down to either fate or luck. If you’re constantly holding out for “the one,” or when facing hard times with your partner, it may be easy to throw away something good for an unattainable standard.

    If you think something is meant to be, it could make you feel like you shouldn't have to try. But, as we already know, that’s just not how life works. Anything good worth having involves work, but that work is always worth the end reward. 

    And, although the idea of a soulmate tends to make people think of someone who will be there forever, it’s more likely for us to have multiple soulmates throughout our lives.

    Some believe in the idea of a “soul crossing,” where we cross paths with someone that has a lasting impact and influence on our lives without becoming a permanent part of it. It’s more about the lessons we learn and how we grow than the other person themselves. 

    Besides, there are nearly eight billion people here on Earth. If we only had one soulmate, how likely would it be for us to just luck into meeting them?


    Ways To Tell If You’ve Met Your Soulmate

    Meeting your soulmate may be something that you just “feel,” but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t clues that make it easier to recognize. Here are just a few of the more commonly agreed-upon ways that you may be able to know if you’re in the presence of your soulmate.

    This can include friends, a potential partner, coworker, family members, or just a chance encounter at the coffee shop. You just feel a sudden attraction and affection to them (different than lust). 


    You Can Talk For Hours… Or Be Quiet

    One of the key ways that you can identify your soulmate is how easy it is to talk to each other over a wide range of topics, including life goals, insecurities, and your deepest secrets.

    Have you ever met someone for the first time and just felt like you’ve known them for decades? That could be a major indication that you’re in the presence of a soulmate.

    The opposite is also true. With a lot of people, it can fill you with anxiety to sit there without talking. It’s the real, important people in your life that you can sit in silence with and have it feel peaceful. 


    You Feel Better for Knowing Them

    Whether they are in your life for a month, a year, or the rest of your life, a soulmate adds and doesn’t take away. If you can think of someone in your life and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they add good to your life or that you’ve learned something from them: they may be someone who was meant to be there. 


    You Just “Feel” It

    People who can identify their soulmate usually point to a single, common denominator: they just “knew” when they had met them.

    It’s an impossible thing to be able to explain until you’ve experienced it. But, that moment where things just “click” and you can “feel” how important this person is (or will be), you’ll understand.


    Their Happiness Is Your Goal… And Yours Is Theirs

    Many of us have been in relationships where we put our own goals and happiness behind us in an attempt to make the other person happy. With true soulmates, you truly want them to be happy and work toward it.

    However, unlike in unhappy relationships, you don’t feel like you have to give up anything to do that. You’re also getting it back in return, as your happiness is their goal just as much. 


    Even If You Disagree, You Learn Something

    Our soulmates are just human, although we don’t like to admit it. That means disagreements or obstacles will happen, just like they do with everyone else in your life. However, with soulmates, there is a much higher level of respect toward each other. Because of this, you’ll be able to talk about it with empathy for the other person’s point of view, apologize if you need to, and move on.

    This is a major part of how you can learn from each other, although it may be hard to get used to if you haven’t experienced it before.

    If you want to know more about what a potential soulmate may look like, or other things that the future may have in store for you, an astrological natal chart may be just the thing you need. 

    For self-insight, we created our Birthdate Book, which is more than 70 beautiful pages of divination into who you are and what factors may impact how you relate to the world. 

    By looking at where the sun, moon, and planets were at the precise moment you were born, you can gain a lot of content, information, and inspiration about the type of person you are on the inside. This can also help you to identify the type of person that might be your soulmate.

    For more great resources at Birthdate Co., there is also the astrological candle. Made in the United States, these candles are individually created to reveal insight into your temperament and personality traits. Based on your birthday, tarot reading, and more, this candle can help uncover your true self as you move onto a better version of your life. 


    Missing Pieces: Soul Mates

    So, can your soulmate be just a friend? Yes. A soulmate can be anyone (and, likely, multiple people) that you feel comfortable with and that changes your life for the better. That can be a friend, a lover, a coworker, or even someone random you encounter as you go about your day-to-day life.

    Don’t get hung up on trying to find “the one.” Continue to become a better person and enjoy the many, deep connections that you can make when you let go of perfection and embrace the magic and passion that happens on a daily basis.


    Most Americans Believe in Soul Mates | Home of the Marist Poll

    Population Clock | United States Census Bureau (

    Empathy Definition /What Is Empathy | Berkeley

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